From flirting to dating apps: Where do people draw the line on cheating?

Infidelity in relationships was defined in fairly straightforward terms before. Physical involvement with another person outside one’s committed relationship was often what was considered an absolute no-no. But the arrival of the digital era has introduced complexity to our understanding of what it means to be unfaithful.

In modern times, issues surrounding cheating are becoming more and more emotionally charged, revolving around online activity, the use of dating apps, social media and even emotional affairs.

Emotional cheating tops modern concerns

In accordance with a survey carried out by Ashley Madison, which is an online dating service used by married people seeking extramarital affairs, nowadays people consider emotional betrayal even more serious than physical infidelity. Indeed, making a strong emotional connection with another person was reported to be a top betrayal in most cases.

Also Read | What is a ‘Doorbell Friend’? The internet’s favourite friendship trend explained

Sending pornographic pictures or messages to other people also made the list of top infidelities. Active dating profile use while in a relationship is another example of an act perceived as infidelity.

Discussing their relationship with their ex and engaging in sexual play and having a private dinner were cited as examples of infidelity as well. However, opinions regarding whether such activities constitute infidelity were mixed.

How technology changed relationship boundaries

Experts say technology has fundamentally changed how people form emotional connections outside relationships. Direct messages, dating apps, private chats and constant online access mean emotional intimacy can now develop without physical contact. That has led many couples to rethink what loyalty actually means in modern relationships.

Relationship therapist Tammy Nelson told the Daily Mirror that defining relationship boundaries clearly has become increasingly important.

“People make a conscious choice to cheat,” Nelson said while discussing modern definitions of infidelity. She argued that couples need to openly discuss what behaviour crosses the line rather than relying on assumptions.

Why boundaries now matter more than ever

Relationship experts say one of the biggest causes of conflict today is mismatched expectations around loyalty and communication. One partner may see online flirting as harmless, while another may consider it emotional betrayal.

Similarly, maintaining close contact with former partners or hiding conversations online can create tension even if no physical relationship exists.

Experts argue that the absence of clear conversations around boundaries often leaves couples vulnerable to misunderstandings later. The rise of emotional cheating discussions also reflects changing attitudes toward intimacy itself. For many younger couples, emotional transparency and honesty are now viewed as equally important as physical exclusivity.

Also Read | What is puffer-fishing? The red flag trend taking over dating apps

The internet’s role in reshaping relationships

Culture surrounding social media has also affected the way infidelity is discussed in public spaces. The phrases "breadcrumbing," "stashing," and "micro-cheating" are popular terms on social media platforms amongst Gen Z and millennials who are dealing with their relationships through digital platforms.

This discussion indicates that relationships nowadays can be viewed not only through physical means, but also through emotional connection and conduct online.

However, it is argued that there isn't a specific term for cheating that could apply to all couples. The important thing in a relationship is mutual understanding and agreement on boundaries within the relationship.