Roster Dating, this new phrase that is gradually finding its place in Gen Z's dating trends. Even opening social media reveals a bunch of memes. Some are speaking in favour, while others are speaking against it. But what is this about? Why is the tendency of roster dating increasing?
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Roster dating is a dating pattern where someone talks to, mingles with, or simply goes on dates with multiple people simultaneously. They follow a roster of which day of the week to go where with whom. For instance, going to watch a movie on Friday. Candlelight dinner on Saturday. Going on a long drive one day. But all of this with different people. They never get into a serious commitment. Here, 'roster' means list. That is, many want to keep multiple options at hand for themselves. They contact each person, understanding their own time and opportunity, according to need. However, the new generation no longer views this through the lens of deception. Rather, it can be called a kind of 'trial and error' process to find the right person. Individuals try to understand by going on dates with multiple people, which relationship would be healthy for them.
Why roster dating is gaining ground in India
This tendency is also increasing in India. Actually, society, work patterns, and technology have changed. Firstly, the expansion of dating apps. These dating apps are giving people the opportunity to build acquaintances with many people at the same time. Where relationships were previously formed through family, friends, or social events, now options are available with just one swipe. As a result, many want to consider various possibilities together.
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Secondly, the current generation is much more conscious about personal life and career. So no one wants a quick commitment. In big cities, many are nowadays reluctant to take responsibility for long, serious relationships due to the pressure of work life and lifestyle. They want to build relationships by matching with their preferences, work pressure, and future plans. Roster dating provides them with this opportunity.
Many are turning toward roster dating due to some bitter past experience. Before suddenly pouring themselves into any relationship, they want to be more conscious. For that, some are choosing this path to keep their emotions more restrained and avoid one-sided commitment.
Where the problems begin
- Due to having many alternatives at once, people continuously keep comparing. But they cannot wholeheartedly engage in any relationship. At the same time, continuous comparison in every matter reduces the depth of relationships. Problems arise in making decisions.
- Having alternatives all the time means no one can build complete trust. People feel hesitant to express their weak sides or inner feelings. As a result, communication happens, but bonds are not formed.
- Pressure is created on the nervous system. What to do? Who is good for you? This is good about them, that is good about him/her—this thinking constantly gnaws at you. As a result, pressure is also created on the brain and nervous system. Those who have anxious attachment always suffer from insecurity. And people with avoidant attachment move even further away.
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- The excitement of talking to or meeting new people initially reduces loneliness. But gradually it turns into a repetition of the same kind of 'first date' and 'talking stage'. Eventually, this becomes a cause of mental fatigue.
- It feels like deception. No commitment was made, so the question of deception doesn't arise. However, the mentality of keeping alternatives open can make relationships shaky. The person on the other side may suffer from inferiority complex. The search for 'better options' pushes toward an uncertain future.
