A Bengali wedding is filled with emotion and deeply rooted customs. Even though the bride is usually the centre of focus, the groom’s journey is equally ceremonial which transforms him from a simple bachelor into a devoted husband. The 'Bor' participates in a series of key rituals where he formally accept his new role and which solidify his union with the family.
These moments are filled with blessings, feasting, and the enthusiastic welcome of his new in-laws.
Aiburobhat
This ceremony is generally held the night before the wedding. The word itself translates to "rice eaten by an unwed person." At his own home, the groom is lovingly fed a great feast prepared by the family elders, which symbolises his last meal as a single man. It’s a heartfelt way of showering him with love and gifts before he starts his life-changing journey as a newly wed marking the conclusion of his bachelor days.
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Bor Boron
The mother-in-law of the groom performs "bor boron" after his arrival to the wedding venue. The elder members of the bride's family, along with her mother, welcome the groom with a ceremonial platter containing items like lamp oil, paddy, and sweets. This is more than just a welcome. It's a way of accepting the groom into the family. This ritual is accompanied by the blowing of the conch shells and the joyful ululations of the women.
Sankalpa
Before the main rites, the groom sits with the priest to perform the Sankalpa, which is a formal Sanskrit-recited vow where the groom explicitly states his resolution to take the bride as his wife in the presence of the gods. This is a deeply spiritual moment where the groom transitions to the primary participant in the spiritual union.
Saat Paak
The most important moment of the ceremony involves the groom and the bride circling the sacred fire seven times, known as Saat Paak. The groom actively leads the bride in the seven circles around the sacred fire, which is accompanied by the priest’s chants. These circles are promises of togetherness, prosperity, food, strength, progeny, happiness, and devotion, which the groom verbally acknowledges for their bright future.
Bhat Kapor
This ritual is a significant tradition which is performed the day after the ceremony. This ritual shows the groom’s commitment to caring for his bride. He hands over a new saree, sindur, and other essentials of a newlywed woman along with a plate of traditional Bengali food, to his "bou" and verbally ensures her of her well-being, including food, clothing, and overall support.
These five rituals perfectly encapsulate the Bengali groom's transition from a bachelor to a husband. Each step is an acknowledgement of tradition, which transforms the relationship into a lifelong commitment.
