A gradual transformation seems to be taking place in urban India, whereby couples have begun to re-evaluate what commitment means. The trend is such that there is a growing tendency among spouses to remain married while residing in different places in an arrangement that is referred to as Living Apart Together (LAT).
What was once thought to be a practice of the Western world is now becoming increasingly popular in India, especially among couples who find it challenging balancing their work pressures with their marriage life. Couples in a committed long-term relationship have resorted to this arrangement for varied reasons.so
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It can range from career considerations to other personal factors as the couple strives to live separately even as they continue to be committed to each other.
What is LAT and why is it growing?
Living apart together describes the living arrangements of committed partners where they continue to coexist in separate residences. While being a consequence of geographical reasons in long distance relationships, living apart together has now become a conscious decision taken by many couples.
Though such a trend has already become prominent in the west for a long time, its importance has again gained currency due to changing priorities related to psychological well-being. Within India, this concept is gaining credibility in the case of couples residing in cities and are not hesitant to explore unconventional forms of relationships.
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Living apart together provides greater flexibility. With the liberty to retain their individuality, couples are free from the daily hassles and conflicts that may arise due to compromising on their personal preferences.
Balancing independence and intimacy
Although this model is liberating, it is not without its own drawbacks. Balancing two homes might be costly, and distance may occasionally result in emotional estrangement. Communication and trust are key factors for success in this type of arrangement.
Many LAT couples ensure regular communication through deliberate attempts at maintaining their connection. Traveling together and spending quality time together helps to keep the connection strong emotionally. Most LAT couples value the quality time together rather than the amount.
This model necessitates that there is mutual understanding regarding future life plans and expectations. This is particularly true concerning family planning, financial management, and living situations.
A changing definition of marriage
LAT is indicative of a shift in how the concept of relationships is defined altogether. Instead of sticking to the traditional notions of marriage involving common space and time, relationships based on flexibility, compatibility, mutual respect and well-being are becoming more commonplace.
While such setups are not entirely new in the Indian context, where they have been common before due to professional commitments or familial concerns, the key difference today is the intent behind living apart. No longer is it merely seen as an acceptable compromise, but rather a preferred choice.
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In light of the increasing discussions regarding personal well-being, boundaries and self-respect, LAT appears to be a good choice for many couples who seek commitment without always being together.
For those who succeed in making it happen, LAT is all about embracing togetherness, but in their way.
